It’s been a glorious week in South Dakota. The sun is shining, the wind is warm and it truly feels like spring is in the air.
And the animals feel it too. I’ve found and shut down 3 elicit banty hen nests in just the past two days. The guinea fowl are breaking into sub-clans as they plot their nest sites and total world domination. And we’ve been watching a pair of Red-Tailed Hawks soar over the farm as they pair for the year…much to the consternation of the ever-watchful Pyrenees and roosters.
And then there is Lloyd.
Typically in the animal kingdom, it is the males who woo the females. Bedazzled with fancy feathers, loud voices and jiggity dances, male turkeys are well appointed for the job. Lloyd is no exception. He struts, gobbles and drums with the best of them. The ladies are entranced, always on standby for the show.
Except he never actually “does” anything after that. 😳
And so it is that my sad, desperate, truly “yearning for love” turkey hens spend their days literally throwing themselves at him. While Lloyd aimlessly struts about the yard, they take measure of his path and plop themselves in from of him in the “let’s have a booty call” Turkey mode. It’s what every male Turkey hopes to see, the ancient “sexy Turkey centerfold” look teenage Turkey Toms drool over…except Lloyd. 🤦♀️
Lloyd seems totally mystified by the proceedings. He either politely struts around them, taking care not to step on them or he stands over them like this, completely unable to think of what to do next. He absolutely cannot seem to wrap his pea-sized brain around the basics of being a male Turkey.
Sometimes Lloyd tries pecking their heads, as if to simply see what happens, like an old man randomly pressing buttons on the remote. Dear Turkey Girl resigns herself to enduring such attention in hopes of a just reward but our white Turkey hen turns the full beam of her sexual frustration on Lloyd and attacks. She is quite targeted in her attack, usually attempting to rip the snood off his face. 😳
Once or twice last year Lloyd did actually appear to “try” to do the deed but I never did find a single Turkey egg that was fertile. 😑 The way he is starting this spring off, I don’t have much hope for 2021 either.